We’re living on borrowed time. Ever heard of that phrase before? Well the phrase came true for me two weeks ago! To be honest, I have surprised myself with how many things I’ve gotten done since I started motherhood and my entrepreneurial journey in 2017, but I never noticed it was a lot until two weeks ago.
Two weeks ago all the borrowed time I have been living on caught up to me and wanted to collect. It was a strange week where I couldn’t shake the bags under my eyes and the frustration of not being able to finish my work. The most random of setbacks were happening to me in succession until, one after the other, I didn’t think it would be wise to keep pushing through.
I thought to myself, “Why is it so hard this week? It really shouldn’t be this hard. What am I doing wrong?” I thought this to myself on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, until I finally decided to do something about it! I decided to step away. I closed up shop for a week and hung up my emojis to take a look at the bigger picture.
I saw a mother and woman who was working tirelessly day and night, chasing……..
Well that’s just it - what was I chasing?
The answer is - TOO MANY THINGS! And what happens when you chase too many things at the same time? You get distracted and don’t catch anything. That pretty much sums me up to a T.
I took a week off to think A LOT about the directions I was going in and the things that are most important to me: my family, being a good person, God, being a steward of the land, making a lasting impact on the world, and planned my future actions to better reflect these priorities. Through all the thinking though I found one reoccurring lesson that I was being taught - “We are unique. We can’t compare ourselves to others.”
This lesson kept coming up because as I was meditating and working through what was going on in my life, I couldn’t help but imagine what everyone else might be thinking of me and if what I was doing was right - to take time for myself. “They’re going to think I took a week off to go to the spa! They’re going to think I’m giving up. What if people stop following me cause I took a break? Look at all those other shop moms that don’t need a break right now! Am I even being a good mom? Shouldn’t Pili be reading by now and Kaihi potty trained?! Why am I running a business at all?? Maybe it would be better to just be a mom and not pursue my passion for art and community.”
I thought these things and a whoooooole lot more! Thankfully there was another voice, a good one, a kind one, that kept reminding me as I went down that rabbit whole of doubt and judging myself that I took a week off because that is what I, Emily, needed. The kind voice told me - “Let people think what they want and continue to do what they’re doing. This isn’t about them. This is about you. Only you know what you need and you have to give yourself those things. You have to take care of yourself.”
So I did and the week was wonderful. I spent time working in a loi with my kids. I DID potty train Kaihi. Pili still can’t read though. Lol. I sewed to my heart’s content. I spent so much time with my family!!! Time that I don’t regret one second of. I went on dates with Malu. I worked on the structure of the business. I went to church for the first time in a year. I cleaned and organized parts of my house along with areas of my life and I was happy. And now that I’ve done things to take care of myself, I can better take care of others and I can more effectively say to you -
You are unique and your situation is different. Only you know what you’re going through and you’ve got to ask yourself, “what do I _(insert your name here)_ need?” Then give yourself what you need. That’s the beautiful thing about being human. We are all so different while so similar all at the same time. You’re not me, self-employed with a small business and two kids and a husband that works remotely from home so I’m not saying to do what I did last week, but YOU ARE IMPORTANT! YOU HAVE NEEDS! and your needs have to be met too. Just like mine. Please give yourself grace and love. Give yourself time and DON’T compare yourself to others, compare yourself to you-today and you-yesterday.
Have a wonderful week!
Pictures from my Week:
I really need to take more pictures! I have too many videos and they’re not even of me and my kids!!