The Vortex of "Yes"s

The Vortex of "Yes"s

Can we talk about the vortex of life that we get trapped in sometimes? I mean the slippery slopes of "yes"s that start so harmlessly before progressing you into a place that you told yourself you were never going to come back to the last time you were there.

Maybe Iʻm just talking about myself? But I don't think so.

In my experience being busy never starts out as a bad thing. My kids want to play, my husband wants to spend time with me, my sister wants to go to the beach, my friends want to catch up, my Instagram community is trying to connect and share ideas, my business needs tending to, health and fitness is never the priority it should be, I always have a number of projects that I am trying to complete that aren't even for business. These are all good things so how do they get me so bogged down?

There's a word I've heard before... balance? I think that's the word although I don't think it's a word that I've used a lot in my life!

Oh how do we find balance?!

I only know of one way so far. Oh actually 2!! and they both work for me so maybe they might work for others. They work best when you actually apply them.

The first is having boundaries and saying no. I hate this one which is why I end up where I am so often. In my mind I can do anything and everything so when someone asks if I can __(fill in the blank)___? - saying "no" is like saying "I don't know how. I am incapable, I am not good or smart enough. I am not enough"...haha even typing that out I am realizing how ridiculous that is, but that's what I really think! 

So no Emily, saying "no" doesn't mean you are incapable - or maybe it does, but not in the way you think. It means that you "can not" because it would put incredible strain on your family. It means you "can not" because you are only one person. It means you "can not" because you might need to be there for someone in the future and squeezing yourself dry will leave nothing for you to give.

(And now I go from addressing myself to addressing all of you again. lol)

The second trick is living with someone polar opposite than you. I know this doesn't apply to everyone, but to some maybe you'll look at your spouse with a fresh perspective.

Working and living with Malu (and I often tell him this) is like running into a brick wall over and over again all day. I don't even see it coming! We are just so different that right when I think I hit my stride, I find myself hitting the brick wall instead. What I mean is that we're just really opposite so when I want to work all day and rest none he steps in. He makes me slow down. He actually will make me sit by him like a child in timeout for 5 or 10 minutes to get me out of my robot routine of "go, go, go". Drives me nuts in the moment, but if he wasn't there to do that for me I would be a terror to the world.

Now why did this all come up and gosh why do I have so much to share right now?! Well I have this wonderful friend who is going through something very difficult right now and I so badly want to be there for her, but I can't. In pure honesty, I won't. I say I won't because I am taking responsibility for my actions. I won't drop all of my assignments, clients, work, projects, kids, life to be there for her and I feel terrible because I know that it is my fault. I have created this vortex of things to do that has sucked me in and I can't escape at a time when I really need to.

So I guess what I'm sharing with all of you tonight is that saying "yes" to a lot of really good things can in a whole turn into something not so good. Let's be mindful of this. I want to be better at this! I want to be there for people when they need me. I want to be present for my kids growing up. I want to be able to give my all into everything I do.

Here is a card that you can download and use! I used to sell them, but I definitely think the world will be a better place if I just give them away! Write a note to someone special and tell them you love them.


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1 comment

Wow. Thank you for this. This was an inspiring read.

Moni Pili

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